Today is a new day. I’m feeling better today. Yesterday was a hard one. I was home packing with Ryan and I just couldn’t stop thinking about our little baby that would have been. I know that in time everything will be okay, and that I will most likely be pregnant again and carry to term, but I want this baby. The baby that is no more. The baby that I will only have in memories and never get to hold. Sucks. It just sucks. Today is one week since our little butterfly flew free and I think about our little baby every. single. day. and a million times a day ( I counted…) On Tuesday when I went to the RE that appointment was made to hear the baby’s heartbeat…instead it was blood work to see how low my numbers where. I should be writing today that I’m 7 weeks pregnant and lovin’ it, but I’m not. I’m so not. When will this pain go away??
I was so happy when Laurie came home yesterday. I needed her to just be here with me. Even though her mom and little sister where here too, it didn’t matter. I just needed her to be present…Right here in front of me and I loved every second of it. I know that I can always count on her to cheer me up…she is my amazing wife <3.
Thank you everyone for all of your comments. They really do help a lot more than you probably think. I read them several times a day as a reminder that I am not alone. I love my blogland friends. =)